Slob Feat

Not everyone is anal (neat and organized, you perv *wink), there are people who, despite the messiness of their rooms or workplace find it productive or beautiful. However, being a messy bessy has its ups and downs too and only messy people will understand that.

“A little bit messy” means something else

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When you say your room is a little bit messy, you mean that it looks like it was ransacked by a band of bandits a few days ago in search of a stolen amulet. And seriously, you don’t see it the way others see it because for you, your room is sparkling… okay.

While most people have sock inventories, yours is… well, just sitting in a pile

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You don’t go into so much trouble trying to find the right pair of socks because it doesn’t matter anymore. I mean, who will try to look at your socks? As if the world will end if your socks don’t match, right?

You can’t work without clutter

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When someone thinks they’re doing you a great favor for cleaning your work desk, you just burst into anger. You can’t work without clutter. The messier your desk looks like, the more you become productive and it ticks you people can’t accept that.

Eating in public places can be difficult

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Because you’re super messy, you eat like a messy person does. You can’t really wear a white shirt when you eat meatballs and spaghetti because you don’t want your immaculate white shirt to look like bloodstained.

You prefer eating take outs because all your dishes are still dirty

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You always see yourself choosing between eating take outs or just eat the three-day old soup in your fridge. You’re too lazy to wash the dishes. That is good! You managed to grow a culture of bacteria in your sink. Give it a few centuries and they might grown into more complex life forms and take over the planet. (Wow, sci-fi book alert!)

You tend to wear clothes that aren’t clean

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Often, you don’t realize that you have worn that shirt a few days ago until you smell it. You are often confused which shirt have your worn or not because, well, they are in the same pile.

Your bed holds it all

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Half of your bed is for sleeping. The rest, is for everything else. A guitar, clothes, some take out containers, maybe your cat is even there. Basically, your bed holds it all. You use the half for sleeping and the other for storage. Cool!

Your fridge smells like regret

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Remember that three day old soup I mentioned earlier, it’s actually a two-week soup. And once you open your fridge, you will be welcomed with the sweet scent of regret.

Your apartment always looks like you’ve just moved in

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Your favorite excuse is, “Oh sorry. I’m still packing out my stuff. I just moved in.” But we both know that is not true. You’ve moved a couple of years ago.

Finding the remote is never easy

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Because your apartment is messy, you tend to lose small things like keys, remote controls and family heirlooms. And finding it is never easy. It often requires you to tumble all your stuff from the one side of the room to another. But I know that you will find what you lost, eventually! Good luck!

You appear obnoxious to neat freaks

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Neat freaks hate you! We both know why. You’re the opposite of everything they hold dear. Neat freaks often hate going into your apartment because they find the itching sensation of cleaning it up. And you can’t go in theirs because it’s too clean and organized you want to smash it into pieces.

Video chatting requires strategic angles

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When someone asks to video chat with you, you immediately remove all the mess away from the camera’s projectile. And you’ll be careful not to move too much because the camera might fumble and reveal your secret.

To End

Don’t worry. You’re not the only messy bessy in the whole world. There are a lot of people like you and they will understand what your struggles are. And besides, the world isn’t divided between messy bessies and neat freaks. We got both mess and neatness inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s what who we really are.

Okay, now I’m ripping out Harry Potter.

Rudolph Musngi

Rudolph is the mind that spawned this mischief. He is purely evil and loves to plot evil things. He pretends for a living. Everyday he goes to work and faces the world like he's the nicest guy ever.

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