After a few years of existing in this world, I realized a couple of things. One of them is this: the most important decisions you make in your life often are the most painful ones. The life-changing choices you make often put you into an emotional difficulty. It makes you exhaust every possible option just to spare your heart from getting broken. But, more often than not, these pains make you a better person in the long run.
Talking about pain is difficult. Most of the times, pain is connected to sadness, grief and even death. And there’s no one to blame. Nobody with a sane mind will want to undergo pain, both physically and emotionally.
But there are a few truths about Pain that we often neglect. These truths are what makes pain something to accept in life. Yes, we need to accept that pain is a part of living. Here are a few truths:
Pain demands to be felt
This has probably been dangling around quotes, movie scenes and tweets for some time now but it still is true. Pain demands to be felt. We have been acclimated to the thinking that when we feel pain in our hearts, we need to shove them down. We need to avoid thinking about the things that pain us for us to get better. True, right?
No. It’s not. In reality, the more we avoid pain, the more it creeps in our minds and the more it burdens us. Think of this, how many times have you tried to think your tooth is not aching? How many times did you repeat this phrase: “It’s not hurting. It’s not hurting”? Now tell me, in those times, didn’t you feel it worse?
Truth is, no matter how hard you try to shove pain down, the more it rises up. Pain is like a pool of water. The more weight you drop in the pool, the more the water overflows.
What I’m trying to say is this: don’t avoid pain. Accept it.
It’s also inevitable
Pain is also inevitable. In fact, you can sit in an ergonomic chair and after a while and you’d still feel pain. Your back might hurt a bit, or you would want to stretch your legs. Either way, even in the most comfortable places in the universe, there is pain.
So why avoid the inevitable? Why run from something that will catch up on you?
And what’s the best thing to do? Face it. Face the inevitable.
Whatever painful situation you are dealing right now, have the guts to stand up and say, “I’m ready for this”. You’ll never be able to slay a dragon by merely hiding under a pit. You have to take up your sword and stab that bastard in the heart.
We don’t forget pain, we just get used to it
The moment we were born, our body has felt so much discomfort. Once your skin feels the heat of the world outside your mother’s womb, it feels different than what you were used to, thus it is painful. And you cry, and you cry a couple more times until your body gets used to it.
Now that you are a bit older, you don’t feel that pain anymore. Why? Because it’s no longer new to you. The pain you were feeling when you were young is now replaced by normal sensations because you got used to it.
This goes true to a lot of pains you have experienced before and will experience in the future. You have and will get used to it. Those heartbreaks that caused you a bucket of tears? You’ll get used to those. Those disappointments you got from broken promises? You’ll get used to those.
Now I tell you this, whatever painful situation you are feeling right now, you’ll get used to it. Just hang on there buddy because you will get through it.
It makes us savor happiness
You want to know why I so much despise the #100HappyDays Challenge on social media? It’s because you can’t be happy every day. Happiness can never be savored if we feel it all the time. If you want to make life more exciting, acknowledge the pain that can be felt each day.
Let’s put this in two situations:
First. You wanted to win the championship for your basketball team. So, you rigged a few games. Eventually, you won it. Trophies and champagne.
Second. You wanted to win the championship for your basketball team. You fought hard all season long only to be eliminated in the semi finals. It hurt you so bad that you wanted revenge. What you did was train all summer long. When the season opened, you did your best, bore all the brunt just to get to the top. And, after a few nicks and bruises you got the title. Trophies and champagne.
Question: Which do you think is happier?
Moral of the story: you can’t cheat life. If you want to enjoy your journey, you have to face all the pain that it entails.
let these truths act as a motivation to you. Whatever pain you might be facing right now, you can and should overcome it. Don’t worry if it hurts. It’s normal. You’re human and you have to feel the inevitable pain because it’s all part of the journey that leads to happiness. Good luck!