The screaming matches are now finished, and books and CDs have now been returned to where they really are. It’s over. Don’t worry, you have every right to cry and break down because you deserve it. Getting over someone is never easy. It never is. And like how you started dating and having fun on your previous relationships, you have to move on and go on with your life.
You may stuff my face with, “you don’t understand, I loved him” but honestly, I do understand you. I have been there so many times now and I kinda’ know what to do. There are a series of roadblocks that delay you from being happy and we will try to address them here. You need to face these reasons for you to happily go on with your life:
1. When You Get Over Someone, You Get Over the Memories Too
When you get over someone, you also say goodbye to the memories you have shared. All the times that you two walked in the park, hands clasped in each others’, those times when you just had fun, the times you both saw each other cry, you have to say goodbye to that. It’s not that you should forget them, no. What I’m trying to tell you is that you should let go of those memories and the possibility of them happening again. You have to live in the present and not sulk on what happened yesterday. Remember that life only moves forwards and if you keep on being stuck in reverse, you won’t move on.
Don’t be a guy who lives in his stories. Be the guy who creates his stories and make it work for him. You will be able to create new ones, nay better ones. You just have to keep trying.
2. When You Get Over Someone, You Say Goodbye to People
You just broke up with someone. It’s hard for you to accept that because your past relationship has made you know several amazing people. It may be your partner’s funny co-worker or his wise uncle but whoever they may be, you have to say good bye to some people eventually. Sooner or later, you’ll lose contact to these people and they will fade in your life as mere minor characters.
But you just have to accept that you have your own life too, and you can’t depend on them to make it happy. You just have to continue and meet new people.
It’s not easy to just let go of those people, I know. But you have to. If you keep on hanging out with your partner’s friends, you’ll never be able to move on and you’ll just hurt yourself.
3.When You Get Over Someone, You Shatter Illusions
The could-have-beens and what-ifs hold you back too. The false hopes and illusions that somehow, you will get back together, fall in love, get married, have kids and grow old in love. These things that you form in your mind are what makes it difficult for you. At one point you think that you’re going okay and starting to move on but when one window of opportunity opens to have a chance to get your ex back and you come crawling back in.
Let go of these illusions. I know that the past can be tempting and the future is scary but you need to live in the present because holding on to something that is already gone will bring you nothing but pain. Open your eyes to the reality that not everything can be repaired. It’s over, there are no considerations to think of, no what-ifs and could-have-beens to bother. It’s done and you really can’t do anything about it.
I know you can do it. I’ve been there and I also told myself that there is no getting back at this. I, too, lost hope but eventually, I became okay. Now, I’m happier more than ever. You could be, too.