Singles thinks of relationships as a smooth sail in the sea of love, holding each others hands, while cuddling with cupid above. As an honest answer, this is true for the first few years of togetherness – or weeks.  When all that’s left is love, better beware. Here are a few relationship arguments guys will never win. These arguments may spark out of nowhere. It is a tricky monster hidden in honest and seems-to-be-harmless lines as the following:


“How do I look?”

giphy (4)

Sorry bro, it’s a trap. Nothing you could say would even justify what you mean. When you say ‘beautiful’, she hears “CLOWN”. Better run or give her flowers – either one works all the time.

 “Is she pretty?”

giphy (5)

Thou shall not look. Eyes straight on your girlfriend. Shall not make a comment. Fishy Fight Alert! Fishy Fight Alert!

 “Is that porn?”

giphy (7)

In the first place, she’ll never ask this if she hadn’t caught you checking out some sexy bikinis. This is not a question. It is a predetrimental statement for a bloodbath. Pick up your best shield for she has a hundred canon.

 “Can I see your phone?”

giphy (6)

Good luck. If it has your ex-girlfriend’s pictures and messages, you’re simply doomed. If it is clean, you are hiding something, still you’re doomed.

 “Did you enjoy with your friends?”

giphy (8)

Say ‘No’. Normally, you’re saved. If not, you must have been tagged with pictures on your Facebook where she can see the fact you really did enjoy. General rule – no pictures for boy’s night outs.

“Have you greeted your ex-girl a happy birthday?”

giphy (12)

What ex-girl? There is no such thing as an ex-girl, right? She is the only woman in your life. Now HUG. (Thank me later).

  “Are we leaving this party early?”

giphy (11)

If ‘yes’, you better have some sort of romantic plan to compromise her fun for the party. If no, still, you better have a good plan to comprise her fun for what supposedly happen outside the party.

“Your love is enough for our anniversary”

giphy (10)

Love is a mathematical equation only girls understand. It is equal to flowers + chocolates + romantic dinner. Or, you could go for package B, which is shoes + bags + a romantic dinner. These are not gifts, these are LOVE, gentlemen.

 “Better read Fifty Shades of Grey!”

giphy (9)


“Why wouldn’t you read such good erotic book? Most men will like it. Are you gay?”



“You’re a maniac masochist.”

 “Why do you love me?”

giphy (13)

My friends, remember the golden rule “Action Speaks Louder than Words””. Kiss her before she says anything more.

Rudolph Musngi

Rudolph is the mind that spawned this mischief. He is purely evil and loves to plot evil things. He pretends for a living. Everyday he goes to work and faces the world like he's the nicest guy ever.

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