Whether it’s friendship or romantic kind of relationship there are three things you need to keep in mind when investing your life on people: time, effort, and your feelings. Everyone invests these three things on every relationship they make, but not everyone knows how to invest them smartly.
This post will totally sound utilitarian, and trust me it is only so because we’re talking about it. In reality, no one should talk about how the machinations of relationships work. No one. That’s a taboo.
Avoid Being Hurt By Investing Just Enough To Get A Response
It’s not rocket science nor investing 101, but common sense. Never spend your life on people who don’t reciprocate. At least not too much at first.
It is inevitable that you’ll have to put some effort to start something with someone. A simple greeting, a smile, a text message. These are actions with minimal effort that you can do. If the person responds, then it’s time to put in more effort.
Remember, the longer this goes on, the higher the stakes are. If you have a friend who only calls you whenever he needs you for something and you can’t even ask him for a simple favor, then you should rethink the friend part of your relationship.
Investing $5 to get $3 is okay. There are risks involved, and losing $2 is definitely okay because that’s how it works, there’s no immediate result. In the long run, everything will be balanced. Investing $100 will yield a $100 return or more. That’s the point where you’ll know you invested properly. You are smart, you can apply that to relationships!
Besides, who invests a great deal of effort just for a shrug?
Don’t Get Emotionally Attached Until Real Value Is Spotted
Photo by Brooklyn Morgan
Did you develop a crush on someone today? Well, don’t daydream about you two living a happy life together (investing emotion and time), because it might not even last for a week.
Remember the saying “never put all of your eggs in one basket”? It applies here. Don’t invest 100% of your time on one person. That’s obsession, and nothing good will come out of it. More so, don’t dedicate yourself to just one person. You have other friends, don’t you?
Never put yourself in a situation where you’ll need them. Especially when there’s nothing to suggest that they would feel the same way.
Express interest. If it’s reciprocated, then that’s the point where you can get attached a little tiny bit.
Don’t Let Relationships Define You, They Should Complement Your Life
The common mistake people make when forming relationships is that they try so hard to make it work, to fit in nicely, to the point where their lives are literally changed and defined by the people they want to be with.
This shouldn’t be your goal. Your goal should be to find people who will add more value to your life, people who will enrich you, who will complement (not compliment) your entire being.
You should be careful on how much time, effort, and money you invest on people. Unless you want to dedicate your entire life towards someone, then by all means disregard this post. Burn brightly!
Featured image by David Marcu.